Drill sergeants...

Parenting is not easy. I am already realizing it, and my kids are still babies.(sort of) My goal as a parent is to be as prepared as I can be as my kids get older. I never want to think I am as good of a parent as I will ever be. I know that a great parent is one that can be open to change. If what I am doing does not seem to be working, I want to be willing to change. My kids deserve for me to keep working on myself and taking my job as a mom serious. y kids are the greatest gift I have ever received, and I want them to know that I think they are amazing.

I am staring my psychology classes, and for the most part I love them. I have 2 online classes, and one in class. The class I have in the classroom, is child psychology. Their are an interesting bunch of people in that class. One lady is about to drive me insane, and it is only week number two. I will refer to her as the "drill sergeant". The drill sergeant has something to say about everything. She can not be swayed, it is her way or no way. Her children are in high school, and she is a genius when it comes to parenting. She says that your house should be the way you want it, and your kids will need to learn to not touch anything you don't want them to touch. You can have breakables on their level, and if you are a good enough parent, your kids will learn not to touch the breakable things. Drill sergeant says you can never reason with a two year old, they are completely irrational and are not intelligent enough to be reasoned with.

I am required to respond in class as part of my grade, but I find myself just sitting there screaming in my head. She is clearly a parent who thinks she knows it all, and there is no swaying her, so I think "why respond"? So I will respond here on my blog where I can speak freely.

1. Who wants to live in a house where kids can not touch things? I agree they should not touch things like the stove and toilet water, but I like that my kids can play in my house. It is their house too, and I want them to always feel comfort in our home. I have taught my kids to not touch things when we go to other houses that are not kid friendly, but they are free to touch most things in my house.
2. As far as not being able to reason with a two year old, she is crazy! Two years is when you SHOULD start reasoning with them. You don't have to spank a child every chance you get to get them to obey you. I reason with my kids daily. It is SOOOO easy to tell Scarlett or Owen to do something and if they do not there will be a consequence. It works like magic. You just tell your child to do something and that is it. Watch them to see if they do what you say. You say it once, and if they do not do what you say you take something away. Trust me, the more drastic the consequence, the less you will have to work at it. It does take a TON of consistency for a little while, but they will get it, and when they do things get really easy. IT IS CALLED REASONING!

This lady and her "drill sergeant" attitude, "if you don't do what I say, I will force you to do it", does nothing for a child but make them afraid of you. Why do parents want their children to be afraid of them? I think if less parents were drill sergeants, maybe their kids would feel like they could talk to them more. I would be terrified to talk to my mom if she was like the drill sergeant. For example, when a teen girl works up enough courage to tell her parents she is pregnant, why do parents yell and tell girls that they are stupid. Some parents kick their pregnant daughters out of the house! What good does yelling and name calling do at that point? That girl needs to be loved and felt like she is not alone, because the fear she holds inside her is all the punishment she needs. These "drill sergeant" parents are to blame for a lot of lost teens.
Then there are parents who say, "well my child has no respect, they could care less about me". Well no duh! they are teenagers, of course they do not respect you. Why do grown adults get thier feelings hurt, and take things personal. Don't all kids hate their parents at one time in their lives? I can tell you this, I will not be shocked when my kids let the "I hate you" slip. I will know that they are saying it in anger, and I would never let it ruin my relationship with them. I think a lot of parents need to pull up thier big kid pants, and deal with things. Listening, support and unconditional love go a long way with kids.